83: time management is a myth...tend to your energy instead

on the power of energetic capacity, divine timing, and the softness of space

There’s a patch of hydrangeas growing near my apartment.
The kind I once longed for and couldn’t have.

Back when I was planning my wedding, I wanted blue hydrangeas for my bouquet.
They were rare. Vivid. Magical.
But they were out of season and too expensive. So I settled.

Seven years later, we divorced.
I tucked that desire away like a tiny grief I couldn’t name.

Fast forward to 2014. I was in the Canary Islands with my Aber friends on a cruise.
We were walking through the hills when I saw them—a wild field of blue hydrangeas in full bloom.

I stopped in my tracks.
Silent tears came.
It felt like the Universe was forgiving me.

One of my friends, who didn’t know the story, picked a flower and handed it to me.

That moment was a portal.

A soul whisper:

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
Nothing has been lost.

Just… not yet received.

Which brings me to the topic of today:

Time.

You cannot manage time.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

You. Cannot. Manage. Time.

Trust me. I’ve tried.

I’m the woman who ran million-dollar projects and tracked timelines down to the hour.
I’m an avid planner. Not just digital—paper planning, with stickers and color-coded highlighters.

Planning is an art form to me. It’s how I court possibility. How I listen for what time can hold.

But I don’t plan like a normal person.

I feel into the energy of a day. A week. A month. Years.

I dance with deadlines. Gently nudging them forward or back depending on what life is actually asking of me.

I make ta-da lists, not to-do lists.
I gather what needs doing and then flow them in as the week unfolds.

It’s a little mischievous. A little magical.

It frustrates corporate superiors—they don’t always see the method to my madness.
But they always love the outcome.

Because I don’t just manage time.

I dance with it.

And that’s a different kind of power.

Still, even with my witchy ways, I’m human.

And these days, I find myself rationing PTO like it’s water in a drought.

After my recon trip to Trinidad, the move to settle my parents there, and my own move here in Charlotte, I’m in a deficit.
I’ve got 7 precious days left—and it’s only July.

You might know the feeling.

I’ve still got my niece’s graduation. My birthday. The holidays.
And already I feel the squeeze. The resentment that creeps in when your restoration is measured in HR-approved hours.
When you have to justify your need for rest.

That’s why I want to talk about energetic capacity.

Not your calendar.
Not your checklist.
Not your PTO balance.

But the thing underneath.

Your life force.

You can block off time to write, or rest, or meal prep.
But if your spirit is frayed, your body tired, your heart bruised…that time will evaporate into nothingness.

You’ll shame yourself for “wasting time”.

But it was never time you needed.
It was capacity.

The hydrangeas reminded me of that.

Energetic capacity—spaciousness, as I sometimes call it—invites what you’ve longed for to find you again.

When you have energetic capacity, you can move with Divine timing.

You stop chasing and start receiving.
You recognize the blessings that already want to bloom.

Even the ones you thought were lost forever.

So here’s my invitation this week:

Don’t manage your time.

Tend to your energy.

Create space for the sacred to return.

The hydrangeas will come.

In Joy,
Nneka
Trini-born sage & oracle

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P.S. If your energy’s been scattered or stretched thin, you’re not alone.
I’m hosting a soft, sacred space at the end of August to help us reflect on summer and reorient toward fall. I’ll share more soon, but if you already know you need this, you can save your seat today.